Well, it’s that time of year again: millions of people around the world are preparing to fly home or off on vacation for the holidays, and for the next few weeks the skies will be filled with… well, with far too many people who don’t have the first clue how to fly.
I fly a few dozen times a year, sometimes totting up three or four flights in a week (trust me, it’s even less fun than it sounds). Before each of these flights I despair at the long lines at airport security, watching with disappointment as yet another person fails to understand what they can and can’t take on board the flight with them.
Let’s clear this up in advance of the holiday season. You can’t take a Swiss Army knife on a plane. You can’t take a gun. You can’t take a 2 liter bottle of pop. You just can’t.
Unsurprisingly it’s the last one that trips most people up (most people are smart enough not to try taking a pistol on board with them). In every security line you’ll find some idiot trying to carry a bagful of liquids through to their flight. A bottle of soda is easily dealt with – just throw it in the trash – but the problem becomes much thornier when people try to take expensive cosmetics through security.
Seriously, it’s every flight. ’I'm sorry, officer, but it’s just a bit of eyeliner. It’s only a stick of lipstick. It’s just moisturiser.’ Sure, maybe, but how the heck do they know that?
Here are the facts. According to TSA regulations you’re only allowed to take 1 quart sized clear cosmetic bags onto a flight. Each bag can contain 3 3oz clean bottles, and you’re allowed 1 bag per passenger.
That isn’t too complicated, right?
Now let’s watch you all screw it up.