Remember it’s not just your money you’re spending but also your time. Is this job a way to spend my time that I am actually happy with? Do spend it in worthy fashion, don’t waste or squander your time or money. This is another reason to look at other territories, you may want to spent time elsewhere. Not that we want to over dramatize that need for focus but applied brainpower tends to lead to more ideas on the issue than if you totally and roundly ignore it.
Make believe you’re on your own payroll. What would you pay yourself per hour, per idea, per each task?
You lose your job. You need to find another seaway. But sometimes we might lose our grasp of what actually happened and take that label and paste it on more than the specific situation. I seem to also put that same label on my intelligence when I didn’t lose any of it in the transaction. If we are going to use labels, just keep them in the specific situation and paste it on to what it applies to only. Watch out for labels that become all encompassing. For example, the word divorce becomes a label. This is a divorced person. But any person has been divorced from any number of situations. It applied to a specific situation, but yet every form a person might fill out asks if they are divorced as per marital status. Yet although we continually choose to divorce ourselves from situations, this label regarding marital status becomes a label, which seems to attach itself to more than the specific situation. If we use the labels, just paste these labels to the specific items that they apply to.
It would be like a store that runs specific sales on some items for 50 percent off, but they make up too many labels and end up with labels on almost all items in the store for 50 percent off.
We tend to stay in labels. We put a label on the day, saying it was a bad day. We keep the label on for the next day. By staying with labels, we are not moving further down the coast. And even if we keep the labels, they may weigh down our ship as we travel further. It might be better to travel lighter without the heavy weight of the label. We might just want to discard the label outright and throw it overboard.
You deserve this. In moving further down the coast, I might try to at times find ways in which I can feel worthy and deserving, even in small ways. I had been working on a commercial shoot in New York City on 5th avenue all day from early in the morning at about 6 A.M. to 6 P.M. where I was one of many depicting marathon runners for the commercial shoot on 5th avenue which was partially closed off for the commercial. After this, I started to walk downtown in the beautiful evening, going further down the coast of that day, to see a movie at the Tribeca film festival downtown. On my way, I purchased a Mango, coconut smoothie for 6 dollars, which is an extravagant purchase for a drink. However, it was quite cold and quite flavorable. As I continued to walk, enjoying the smoothie, I saw some other people at a juice bar. I thought, here are other people at a juice bar, but they probably didn’t run almost all day, at times in the hot sun, and if they deserve a smoothie then I can say I do too, especially since I did all that running for the prime time commercial. For that moment, I felt worthy of having that smoothie in my hand as I continued to walk downtown.
Take an inventory on your interests. What are you currently interested in at this point? For example, you may have lost interest in a job. Where is that going to bring you? I visited a friend in Kansas, and a storm approached with such speed and gigantic clouds that I more believed tornado scene in the Wizard of Oz movie. A bigger storm, bigger clouds will bring more rain. Bigger interests will get you going further in the future that something you have fizzled on in terms of interests.
You might say I am interested in the concept of this or that. More broadly if I am not interested in this, even as a concept, then what am I doing here?
Even the successful model doesn’t contain all that I have. If I decamp into any one model of success, I may have a lot more going for me than that particular model holds. Even if I label myself as success and I am a success, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have other territories I could consider, more coastline to travel.
It’s better to sturdy your legs. Stay in your own shoes. We can bring this to another context. It doesn’t have to be monkey see, monkey do. Don’t put on a false front because it is you yourself that you are bringing into the new territories. There can be some advertising and we don’t have to get into false advertising but at the same time we don’t have to advertise your weakest points to move authentically. People might drum up their weak points in trying to be honest but they overshadow or mask good points. Paint a truer picture. The popular comedian Jerry Seinfeld has written a lot of his own stuff and he can consult himself for further material. He can go back to the original owner and has a circle he can complete. The new territories are there, are you up for it? If you are standing on your own legs you might be more likely to want more of the same if it happens to be good for you. Copycat yourself into a better version. If the new version doesn’t work out, you can always go back to the old. You can steady those horizons with your own eyes.
What do I have with and what do I have without. We can make a separate list. What do I have with this and without this? I have intermingling of interests and investments. A big problem for many is they have gone looking for what they already have. People lose on thing and they think they lost everything. They lose a job or something like that and they think they lost everything including their intelligence when they still have the same intelligence they started with. I can go further down the coast in the same boat. But say for the good athlete who loses the game. Did he or she also forfeit their athletic ability? It’s good to be aware of what you still have so you don’t spend time, energy, and effort looking for it. How many people have looked here and there for a lost wallet only to find it in their pockets? People have even looked for glasses that they were wearing the whole time. But more importantly you may be looking for traits or qualities you already are already in the possession of. Ultimately, all you will arrive at is an unnecessary duplication.
People look for example at a sport, which has competive overtones and just look at scores and final results. The scores themselves may act as a label that mask about the scene that they do really enjoy. If you peel away what does form into labels, you may still find something that is intristically likeable and exciting about this pursuit.
Put the idea in there that I have done enough or that I have enough as a point where you can breath a little even if it isn’t really 100 percent true and even if you really want to do more.
You lose one thing and you go looking for ten things. You only lost the one thing. I lose my hat and I go looking for my hat, my coat, my wallet. I still have my coat and wallet so why am I looking for those things?
I might be a quality type within that venue. Even though this venue might not be what I am primarily familiar with, or what I have actually developed more fully, it is very possible that I am a quality type for this as well.
The basic question is, are you interested in this or not? Should you be interested in this? You can test your level of interest. If you are interested then you are interested. From this be more positive toward what are your actual interests.
Then my interests might be rotating a bit, like crops are rotated. For example, I am interested in reading but I might also want to read more fiction than I have previously. I might want to shift the emphasis based on somewhat of a shift in my interests.
Trees have multiple branches and the same if true of your time and your interests. You can branch out without losing the whole tree. Trust your real interests with your time. You can nurture your true interests with the flowing waters of time. We could still have many branches, all good.
We can expand our definition of richness, which might also bring us into new territories. Some people put a high value on music and will pay a lot for a concert. They will get to that concert because they anticipate a rich experience. Barbara Streisand had sold seats to her concerts for over one thousand dollars. Maybe we are also putting a value on the event. I have to have a ticket.
Another metaphor that applies is when I am on dry land and the territory I’m in is a bit arid. I’m in the desert in terms of the way I’m experiencing the territory, and it might be an upgrade to get into territories that are less arid for me. Not that we are going from dry land to the wetlands or far from the desert to the oasis on every territorial move, but as a coming to terms I can have a recognition and realization that what I’m experiencing in this territory that I’m in constitutes a feel of a desert experience for me. Negative feelings, emotions, and thoughts would tend to keep us in that desert. We can start to realize the different facets that are pulling us back into the desert and the different facets that are pulling us away from the desert. If I am walking any road, I can examine which turns are bringing me back into the desert and which turns are bringing me into more fertile, refreshing and crescent ground for me. I can get to a place where I can cast myself into a new light. Maybe you had the wrong part for you.
It’s not that I’m helpless in the desert or in any immediate danger. The longer I am in the desert the wider the gulf or divide might seem to that oasis. But that gulf might not be wider. It might be a stretch or it might not be a stretch. I can’t be sure.
At least examine for us the forces that are involved. What is pulling us in one direction or another and whether by subjecting ourselves to some of these forces we are going into territories that aren’t going to be the best. We are drawing little or no water from the well so to speak.
The absolute key then is to look for the good pull and recognize it as such.
So we can use the metaphor of the desert in terms of movement into different types of territories. Maybe it was you that turned off the faucets of your own interest.
Do remember no matter what territory you’re in or you move into, there is one person you need to put up with and you know what that is. You say you will like yourself when you get to those new territories, when you get those mansions. But what you want to do is start to practice doing that now. A little practice doesn’t hurt in the long run.
This way if you also get those things you want and you can find the territories you want where you can like yourself for say those accomplishments, you all of the sudden will not have to begin to like yourself to get the full benefits of your newly minted situation. The advantage of trying to like yourself even when you’re downtrodden is it gives you the practice for the good times if and when they finally roll in. Even if you can’t find enough good reasons to like yourself now, you still need the practice of liking yourself in case your fortunes change or in case even the opportunities you seek do arise. Do make the extra effort to find those reasons to like yourself. Have a fondness for yourself just in case, preparing not for the worst case scenario but for the better case scenario. It should help you go further. If the worst case scenarios continue, then you can still have to travel those roads and you can be better company for yourself if you like yourself. If you don’t like yourself, you tend to discourage onlookers that might be gatekeepers towards new lush territories.
If the search for security is that elusive, why bother? Why look for that safe haven anyway when the coastline is so long? You’re chasing a rushing river you can’t keep up with. Why not just go with the particular flow where you can still have a chance and you can still get some of your ideas to wash forward. Get into the territories that can count for you. That adds up to some personal meaning for you. As we ratchet down the coastline we have to deal with each stretch of coast as we come across it.
Or the opportunity comes rushing past you or you rush past the opportunity. And no one wins.
The group America has a song called You Can Do Magic. Focus on the words “you can”. One of the lyrics of the song was that you could have anything your heart desires. This probably isn’t true but at least you can still do a lot more than you think you can. There are all sorts of probabilities surrounding us. The probabilities are from 0 to 100 and let’s not always assign a false zero as an excuse not to. Acknowledge the probabilities even if they are low.
We can also think of new territories as something we can actually look forward to potentially. Or then why am I going full steam ahead to a place I don’t want to go to? Maybe the territories we are in now do not offer us the luxury as much. We feel like we are in a cage in that there isn’t much to look forward to. Trust your first instincts. If you think you’re in a trap, you might be. The best thing to do might be to walk away. For example, you go to a movie and your immediate instincts tell you to walk out. Then you stay and realize you should have walked out.
By the way, what are you looking at now? Are you looking through the window of opportunity? Is the sun still peeking over that landscape?
Just because you ran out of daylight on the idea doesn’t mean it was not a good one and the idea couldn’t have held water. Remember that the negative thought can just be the equivalent of the excuse thought. Furnish yourself with a train of positive thoughts. Positive thoughts are those birds of a different stripe, feathers of a different color. You can think negative but you have the permission to move on, or do you? You have to climb off the poles of negativity first and get back on the ground and climb that positive pole, because you can’t make the jump from opposite poles. When you constantly think negative it’s like supporting the opposition. The only good use of negativity is to see things how they are. If you can see negativity, name it as such, you have a right to examine the territory you are on or might be on later. It is difficult to move out of the negative because you might have lost your positive bearings within the negative. If you find weeds, pull them out, accept them, or move on.
Negativity can also distract you from good opportunities and spreading out in new directions. It serves as a decoy or diversion but not in a good way. Even the questions we ask have different connotations. For example, I ask how can I get through this, which isn’t the most positive question. Or I can ask, how can I most enjoy this?
It’s hard to begin to mix and meld, to get that unique blend you want on the new territory. It is somewhat difficult to mix the negative and positive and try to get the entire positive you want. The disparity might remain and that duo that forms isn’t what you wanted. Even mixing the positive and the positive isn’t always easy. For example, if you have a job that is negative and you want to have positive personal relationships, you might encounter some difficulties. The negative tends to predominate or might be a limiting force towards all that’s out there for you. You can mix and meld, but realize that is where the difficulties might be at in the source of this mix. Negativity is not equivalent to the positive and if you try and match the two you aren’t going to that nice equilibrium to the positive situation that you want. You are dealing with separate fronts that don’t always blend well. It’s like the storm meeting the sunshine.
You might need to loosen your thinking to get to the positive especially if your thinking is fitting tightly around a problem. Loosen the wrapping on the problem or just unwrap the problem and see what is presenting. We can still be in the middle, with a dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t position. You are caught between two currents and not catching the flow of either. You are in the catch 22. You might be on neither side of two worlds. Which will it be? How do these worlds differ? Which is going to be your field of dreams? Are you on the field of dreams with Kevin Costner or not? What happens is we think we aren’t in one world but we aren’t in the other world either. I am neither here nor there so I am not getting the benefits of either world. We aren’t being realistic so we land on neither side of the fence.
We can use both ends of the excuse. People use the same excuse not to on both sides of the issue. The age excuse is very convenient. I excuse myself because I’m too young, then further on I excuse myself from this very same thing because I’m now too old. I skirt the coast but I never land on it. Or it’s too hot to go outside, now it’s too cold to go outside. I can use the weather for all seasons of excuses. Or the busy excuse, I am too busy doing something (fill in the blank). Usually I fill in the blank with some acceptable concept relating to a good work ethic. I don’t say I’m busy going to a party. Just be more honest with your excuses to yourselves and others and try to see what the real excuse is. I may be involved with layers of excuses that I need to sift through just to see what the real ones are. Then I can address them if I want. Then of course is the excuse that isn’t sound to the situation. Such as the water is too wet.
So you can’t even get your shoes on the platform. My foundation isn’t going to be rocked because I didn’t have the foundation in the first place. To get from the negative to the positive, there must be some sort of change that you are ready to embrace. Whatever is involved and whoever is involved the element of change must be involved. I can consider the positive possibilities of change. Even standing still involves a change in the dynamics as a positive you still have to maintain as well around or through changing circumstances. But we who have missed out can often cite the change we never made. If I had only made that change, what might have been?
I don’t feel like it anymore. Why should I feel like doing this? What happened to you and what were the negatives that formed into seemingly impervious obstacles that have taken the feel away from you, where you once had it? As Edgar Winter sings, you lost that loving feeling.
If you don’t enjoy anything than maybe there isn’t a whole lot about yourself that you find enjoyable. Or maybe you could and would enjoy yourself more, but you need to get into other territories where you can enjoy these qualities about yourself that you potentially could find enjoyable.
Territory can be important to you. And if the wider boundaries are no good, you might not have a good time. But you can keep widening those boundaries until you find the good times. I need to look further if what I want isn’t here yet.
You can fan out on your interests and widen their scope. Give your interests the wings of a condor. You may have a lot going at the center but you can spread out from there.
Then there is the issue of a web or network of territories that can be highly advantageous or can become a tangle because of their increasing complexities. Look at the traffic jam, each person is in the territory of their vehicle, but the network can be disturbed by one or two vehicles that are disabled on the highway and stop or slow traffic for miles and maybe hours. Then we can have a personal web of interests that can become tangled up, especially if we are trying to be one person in one setting and another person in another setting. Who I really am becomes a matter of conjecture and is confusing to me. Not that we don’t bring forth different qualities in different settings but at least be believable to yourself.
Of course we can have a rich network of interests, friends, contacts, ideas, and the Web itself can be like this.
We need to consider the possibility that we could be looking at several new territories and we could go to each. We have crossed the Atlantic in the Santa Maria and discovered America but where should we land? Should it be further down the coast?
People blame themselves for everything. You go to the beach and it starts to rain heavily. The economy has gone bad. Prices at the pump are through the roof. What did I do now? You can even blame yourself for good fortune. My good fortune is only the setting for the knockdown punch. My luck will just run out sooner.
You don’t have to blame yourself for good fortune. Don’t feel guilty about your good luck or good fortune to the extent that it causes you not to cash in. The beautiful girls buy some makeup as a disguise only on Halloween. You don’t want to hit a home run because you might upset the pitcher. Maybe the pitcher would appreciate playing against the good home run hitter in the long run, and being in a game with quality players, which also reverberates back to him as being a quality player playing in a quality game.
Then lets not try be perfect and flawless in these territories. It is better to aim for the optimum, which still might not be perfect. The territories themselves aren’t flawless. First things first and we want to be in the game. If I expect to be so perfect, I might say that I will not be up to those standards and cannot be meet with them, so I will not play the game. I’m still better at maintaining the illusion of perfection then because in fact I was too perfect to be in the game. At least Dorothy despite her troubles was on a exciting road to Oz. We want to highlight what will get us to move into territories and if we expect a level of engagement that is perfect, we have arrived at a fictional landscape and we may balk at the options and hesitate because we don’t want to fall short of our fictional standards. And then even if we can approach perfection, it is too much of a burden to stay there, and it makes for a longer fall. And the idea of creative exploration might bring me down from there was well as I falsely link the idea of creativity to perfection. Another hindrance is that I might enjoy less than perfect when I only have the right to enjoy perfection. I do have the right to team up with less than perfection. People have found elation is less than perfect situations.
After all I’m not Gigantor or even Speed Racer or his Brother Racer X. We are walking skeletons. How to you get to perfection from there?
Just because we start out on a given territory, doesn’t mean we absolutely have to continue. We have gone a ways down the coast. We may have traveled far enough to be free. Columbus when he finally reached America had a long and wondrous coastline to consider. He had lots of territory to choose from and explore.
You may be at the end in terms of your interests, desires, and feeling towards the territory you are now on. You might be playing out the string on this tune and you just want it to be over.
But don’t dismiss idle territory that we could still go on. Just because nothing has been planted on this farmland doesn’t mean it can’t be fertile land. Hidden coasts might still be good.
Stay one step behind those trailblazers and make sure they aren’t leading in the wrong direction.
We can still drop the ball and play the game. We might not get a touchdown yet. All of which doesn’t make the run at something not worthwhile. Not only has the touchdown brought that great feeling. I enjoy running downfield for its own sake and the touchdown would be a nice bonus.
Finally we might want to hit the territory on the high end. Why not? All roads lead to Rome. You can get right to the best part.
You can hit the territory at different ends, you can put the horse before the cart or the cart before the horse. Today it would be the course before the car or the car before the course. You are still in the territory of the horse and the cart whichever you put first. But why not go to glorious Rome first and see the outer territories later. You can go right to the summit and check out the valley there. We can always go further down the coast.
About the Author
granny can still get down at the rome river jam 2010